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Joke of the Day

"Old Jewish Proverb: It's better to have Russians cut-off the gas than ... ... have Germans pump it."

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"Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious."
"What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship? Whipped cream."
"What do JFK and Obama have in common? Well, nothing yet."
"""You hang UP."" ""No, YOU hang UP."" - Movie theater workers arguing about hanging movie poster for Up."
"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass, What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss"
"Is there anything less intimidating than a cop on a bicycle? Wobble on, agent of justice, wobble on."
"Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)"
"Congratulation on the new baby, from your family... except from me because I don't really care."
"An unhinged neurosurgeon, a tech CEO, and a Southern Baptist preacher walk into a bar... they all ask for your vote"
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