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Joke of the Day

"Old Jewish Proverb: It's better to have Russians cut-off the gas than ... ... have Germans pump it."

"Humpty Dumpty , that sly bastard Humpty Dumpty sat on his bed, As Little Bo Beep was giving him head, Just as he came she began to weep, She could tell by the taste, He'd been screwing her sheep ! !"

"What do Indian movie stars play at the beach? Bollyball"

"Disney owns Miramax, so the gimp from ""Pulp Fiction"" is technically a Disney Princess."

"I'm like a fireman, I turn the hoes on."

"Hey, did you ever get that job you talked about for weeks then abruptly stopped mentioning?"

"Just downloaded the MySpace app and my iPad transformed into a Commodore 64."

"Below is an email that I sent to a certain presidential candidate a few months back: [deleted]"

"My ex-wife was deaf... She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs."

"What is green and smells like paint?!? Green paint."