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Joke of the Day

"Dropping my kids off at Walmart with a dollar each to entertain themselves for a few hours."

"Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick? To the Dock"

"Some 1-oz liquor glasses were let go from a local pub recently. Shots fired"

"A Muslim goes onto a plane ride I forgot the punchline but i'm pretty sure it ended with a bang."

"just taught my 3yo to sing ""if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands"" and then laugh at the people clapping"

"YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any."

"I received a lighter as a gift from my gf and it broke after a single use. I told her that there was a spark missing in our relationship. Edit: Spelling. Any Improvements to this joke appreciated."

"What do you call a quadriplegic time traveler? Marty Mcsit"

"I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%."

"I can sum up EVERY Presidential debate in 4 words: Same Sh*t, Different A$$holes."