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Joke of the Day

"What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop? Disappointed."

"There's recently been an influx of anti-gay jokes recently and I just wanted to say something: jokes using gay people as the punchline are NOT funny Come on guys"

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"A vegan, a few crossfitters and a bunch of atheists are coming over for Easter There's no joke, I just thought you all should know"

"If I ever opened a store that sold goats, I would call it Burlington Goat Factory"

"""Yous shall not pass!"" (Gandalfini)"

"Why don't you make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it."

"I hate having OCD - do you realize what it's like to feel somewhat compelled to wash your hands nearly every time you go to the bathroom?!?"

"My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you're not allowed to use them. Because nothing says CLASS like useless towels."

"I named my son ""Tennis"" but he doesn't mind being bullied about it. He's a good sport really."