125278

Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a few crossfitters and a bunch of atheists are coming over for Easter There's no joke, I just thought you all should know"

"I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly."

"Do thin girls know about delicious food?"

"Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind."

"I've been happily married for 3 years Out of a total of 20."

"You had me at, ""we'll make it look like an accident."""

"How many dead babies, does it take to change a lightbulb? ...not 7, because it's still dark in my basement"

"what do you call a sad tree? Mourning wood"

"Jackasses and Onions What do you get when you cross a Donkey and an Onion??? You get a great piece of ASS that brings a tear to your eyes!!!!"

"I have a lot of guilt from things I've done in the past so I'm grateful Twitter allows me to focus my pent up anger on strangers."