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Joke of the Day

"I bought my girlfriend 2 presents for her birthday I got her a new pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"Snakes get a bad wrap I mean all they wanna do is hug you to death."

"What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bail"

"I know a trick to make my dick 2 meters long... ... I fold it in half."

"If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly You don't want to hire anyone unlucky"

"What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work? Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!"

"If you insist on changing someone, do it without their knowledge....Like by poisoning their food."

"911 I JUST SAW TWO TRANSFORMERS FIGHTING ""Mr Bay, please stop doing this every time you see a car crash"""

"Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania"