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Joke of the Day

"If you insist on changing someone, do it without their knowledge....Like by poisoning their food."

"Anyone who gives me flowers makes my whole day. Anyone who gives me anal makes my whole week."

"Sometimes I wish I was a cat just so I can constantly ignore everything said to me while licking the inside of my thigh."

"Poor Bob Holness Only been at the pearly gates five minutes, when Amy Winehouse stumbles over and asks 'can I have an E please Bob'."

"Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox."

"What do you call fake pasta? An impasta"

"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"

"I hate how everyone thinks I'm a d*ckhead just because I go to the gym! I was a d*ckhead well before I went to the gym"

"I believe we should all pay our taxes with a smile I tried, but they wanted cash"

"Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting? ""hey I'm taking a shit but come on in and join me"""