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Joke of the Day

"911 I JUST SAW TWO TRANSFORMERS FIGHTING ""Mr Bay, please stop doing this every time you see a car crash"""

"Italians and Spaniards are so used to Catholic child abuse... ... That they call the Pope daddy"

"Why do black people keep the brims of their hats flat? So birds don't shit on their lips."

"What do you call three hundred white guys chasing a black guy? The PGA tour."

"What do you call a religious person who gets into x rated movies, but then stops watching them, but then starts watching them again later on? A porn again christian."

"Me: ""Aw, your baby is cute. How old?"" Woman: ""Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time?"" Me: ""Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."""

"4: I'M GONNA RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT Me: Stop yelling violent things 4: *whispers* I'm gonna rip your eyeballs out"

"My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for a class project. Starting to get suspicious."

"What do you call an angry German? A sour kraut"

"If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour."