170225

Joke of the Day

"My mom and her church biddies have morphed Facebook's ""People you may know"" to ""People who likely cleaned your face with spit on a hanky."""

"What do you call a really expensive tombstone? A R.I.P off."

"Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: ""Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"""

"If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding."

"What do ya call a grizzly who's interested in both sexes? Bipolar Bear"

"I hate when someone texts me cause then I can't post anything on the internet or they'll know I'm ignoring them."

"What does a guy with a big dick eat for breakfast? Well, this morning I had scrambled eggs, hash browns, a side of bacon, a glass of milk..."

"Has the passing of the holidays left you feeling alone in the world, unloved and depressed? Don't worry, Valentine's Day is coming right up!"

"I was about to tell a gay joke butt fuck it!"

"What do you call a young Jewish girl who solves mysteries? Nance Hebrew"