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Joke of the Day
"If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding."
Next Joke
"It's been confirmed by People Magazine that Bruce Jenner is transitioning into a woman I say good on him, at least he's got the balls to do it."
"A lot of times you put up a tweet and at first it doesn't seem like it's going to do very well and then BOOM: you make 1 million dollars"
"If Jesus died for our sin... Who died for our cos and tan?"
"A priest and a nun walk into a bar. The priest says ""Can I get a drink?"" The nun says ""I got your drink right here"". o_o"
"What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending? I can't find the twine."
"How many minutes after someone's fired is it cool to take their stapler?"
"I just realized why my wife never posts on Reddit. She always has to have the last word."
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him **your fish** for a lifetime."
"What's harder than rocket science? My dick."