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Joke of the Day

"Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side"

"Taco Bell is human Drano"

"It would be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was all fun and games up until that point, right?"

"Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that's a cat"

"Damn girl, are you an alarm clock? Because you were a good idea last night, but now I just want you to shut the fuck up."

"Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test."

"Don't start or end a job in July Because you'll be asked ""July on your resume?"""

"Why are European cars the lightest? because there's no Americans sitting in them."

"Do you know what Mexicans think about Trump's wall? Who cares, they'll get over it.."

"What is the difference between snowman and snowwoman? snowballs"