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Joke of the Day

"*finds own number on a bathroom stall* Call for a good time!? This is outrageous! *crosses out good; writes in GREAT* There. Fixed."

"Did you hear about the Patriots? I personally think it's all overblown."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, ""Wow, that's a pretty big word for a eight year old."""

"Music Joke Nobody could find Beethoven's teacher because he is Haydn."

"What do you call an underwater dog? A sub woofer!"

"I used to be really scared about marriage... In fact, I hear 50% of all marriages end up lasting Forever!"

"My girlfriend told me all I could think about was sex... Fanny she should say that!"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? *long pause* ding-dong ditch."

"3 horrible things in life: 1) Seeing your mom cry. 2) Seeing the love of your life fall in love with somebody else. 3) Slow Internet."

"I'm so horrified right now. I'm on the treadmill reading about the bombings in Syria. And my T-shirt's on backwards!"