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Joke of the Day

"Little boy has diarrhea and tells his mom he needs viagra Mom replies "" What the hell for?"" Boy replies ""Isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"""

"What do rodents do after dinner? Gopher a walk."

"Pinocchio had 2 pets. He had a cat named mittens and a dog named champ. He also had a wood pecker."

"What makes cheerleaders nervous? Being late"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $40 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating."

"hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?"

"What does a baby computer call its father? Data"

"what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape"

"Two gallons of milk sat within a fridge One was spoiled and the other was chocolate. Where did the spoiled milk sit? On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit? In the back."