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Joke of the Day

"69% According to studies, 69% of all people have dirty minds."

"My ex-wife is like Barbie... The bitch has everything."

"What do you call Michael Buble's long lost evil twin brother? Pu-pu puble"

"Whats the most important aspect of gun safety to practice around a feminist? Trigger discipline"

"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."

"Did you hear the news about the failed plan to send ISIS a shipment of deactivated bomb vests? People are surprised it's blowing up."

"Licked a frog once. He didn't turn into a prince but he did turn into an ambulance ride."

"Once I walked across a road when the light was red. I felt so bad I went back and waited for the light to turn green."

"What do you call a ship that drives itself? Auto-pirate."

"I had a Crazy Dream Wait for dreams to come up in conversation. I had a crazy dream last night. I drempt I was a muffler... and when i woke up I was exhausted."