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Joke of the Day

"[knocking at the door] VOICE OUTSIDE: Open up this is the fashion police! ME: [furiously flushing bandanas down the toilet] JUST A SECOND"

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S."

"What do you get when you're outside too long on a cold night? (OC) Arcdick"

"what do you call a hooker with a runny nose? full."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now update your Facebook status."

"What's Donald Trumps favourite album? ""The Wall"" by Pink Floyd"

"What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply? Pb & J."

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it's two-tired."

"Making writing mistakes is in my blood. Type O."

"Did you hear about the Roman who had his wife for dinner? He was gladiator..."