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Joke of the Day

"I'm opening a store that specializes in selling automatic weapons. It's called Bloodbath & Beyond"

"I have Facebook like reflexes. ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" *throws a book and hits you right in the face*"

"Doctor, does being obese impede my chances off a normal sex life? No, but it does add weight to the problem."

"Mew and Mewtwo are both on a slanted roof. Who falls first? Neither. They can both levitate."

"A retard and a Christian walk into a bar.... the Christian says ""do you believe in god?"", and the retard says ""what do I look like? , some kind of retard?"""

"Snowman in the summer What do you call a snowman in the summer? ""A puddle"""

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.... It's a Shitzu"

"not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven"

"Why can't a feminist shoot a gun? They can't handle the triggers."

"What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage."