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Joke of the Day

"I just violated myself in the shower. I didn't want to but rules are rules and I did drop the soap after all."

"How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence."

"My wife says I've left the toilet seat up ""like a bajillion times"" but I'm contacting Jill Stein to demand a recount."

"Yo momma so old.... She has a separate entrance for black men."

"He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up."

"Why do short people laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"Did I tell you about my old girl friend with only one leg? Unfortunately we broke up. Turns out she leans both ways."

"How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house."

"I want to die the same way I was born. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood."

"She sells sea shells, to multi-national oil drilling companies who use them as their logo, by the sea shore."