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Joke of the Day

"I just violated myself in the shower. I didn't want to but rules are rules and I did drop the soap after all."

"Commas can change the meaning of a sentence. Example: I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas."

"What do you mean dinosaurs didn't have titties?! *throws my camera on the ground and causes a scene as I leave the museum *"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? My refrigerator doesn't fart when I pull my meat out of it."

"What did the astronaut get instead of athlete's foot? Missile Toe"

"When I was little, my uncle gave me a warning about anal sex... He said, ""this is going to hurt a bit."""

"I heard Matt Damon took it real hard when he heard Robin Williams died. I just hope he remembers. It's not your fault. It's not your fault..."

"I just play poker so I can say I'm going all in without smirking."

"Yo mama so old, When she farted dust came out!"

"In my day, you actually had to leave your house to be a whore. Thanks, internet."