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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"

"What did T say to reassure V? ""Don't worry. I'm right behind U."""

"You don't have to be Crazy to be my friend!........But it sure helps!"

"I recently found a girl using Chaturbate to play games and get tips. The other she was extra chatty.. If I wanted to watch girls pretend to play, I would go to Twitch."

"[at my grandmas house] MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey"

"Why are there no men's studies classes? World history already exists"

"Do competitive origami artists ever fold under pressure?"

"I got fired from my job as a bingo caller... apparently ""A meal for two with a terrible view"" was a pathetic way to announce the number 69."

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 Brazilian"

"I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend ""That's us in 10 years"". She said ""That's a mirror""."