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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"

Next Joke
 
"Something is good and/or bad and makes me happy and/or angry. Please copy and paste this as your status update if you agree and/or disagree."
"Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why."
"I can't wait to tell my grandchildren how many times I've survived the end of the world."
"My niece just yelled ""MY DINNER IS BETTER THAN YOUR DINNER"" so I looked over and she was eating doritos with a fork"
"I suck at sports events It's a good way to make a quick buck."
"Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better. CAN'T WAIT!"
"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."
"I like to think of myself as a guy who doesn't scare too easily but I just beat the shit out of a motion activated air freshener."
"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off"