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Joke of the Day

"Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better. CAN'T WAIT!"

"This guy poured his box of raisinets directly into his bag of popcorn at the movie counter. After my initial shock I bowed to him."

"Did you hear about the guy born with 5 dicks? His pants fit like a glove."

"Whenever a Mexican makes fun of you, just say this Siete-Cero"

"Whats the difference between a hormone and an enzyme??? You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone."

"Is he sleazy? Yes. Is he disgusting? Absolutely. Did he act in a vulgar manner towards women? Certainly. But he's not running for President, his wife is."

"Did y'all hear the one about the tortilla song? Don't have source, but now that I think about it, it may have been a rap"

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5"

"WHAT ARE THOSE?! Thanks, how did you know?"

"got bored and went to Home Depot wearing an orange apron to see how good i am at making up answers to peoples home repair questions"