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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my wine.. 12 years old and locked up in a cellar."

"A small bird flew right onto the side of my butt while I was running today I was wrong, there are chicks out there that find me to be their type."

"Robert De Niro was worried he was having symptoms of Schizophrenia. He went to his doctor and said... ""I heard things."""

"Some women are never satisfied. Last night i gave my girlfriend the biggest orgasm of her life. What did she do, spit it out."

"What's worse than male chauvinists? Women who don't shut up."

"What kind of bees give milk? BOOBIES!!!"

"Sometimes I think I've missed my calling. Luckly for me I have voicemail."

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands... There is no cure..."

"Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? ""Regular coffee with cream please"" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. ""TEN?"""

"How do you make a hamburger green? Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!"