16968

Joke of the Day

"If you give a mouse a cookie.. If you give a mouse a cookie.. Why are you giving a mouse any food? That's unsanitary."

"my friends are getting married and i'm here wondering what the diff between a soft taco and a burrito and if i should get both for dinner"

"Darth Vader: Join me on the Dark Side, Luke! Luke: I'll never join you! Vader: We have flex hours and Pizza Fridays! Luke: NOOOOOO!!!"

"My mother asked me today if I was more attracted to breasts or butts.. I told her to shut up and put her robe back on."

"Why do all zombies have sprained ankles?"

"The sonogram of your baby looks awesome!* So clear!** And he looks happy!*** *Creepy **Is it a human? ***I think you're having a racoon"

"Why is a bear brown? Because he crawls in his hole during winter."

"Did you hear about the blind guy who got in a car accident? He regained his sight in ICU."

"The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?''"

"""I'm hungry!"" says your sister... ""Hi Hungry, I'm Dad"" your father replies Two hours later, your dad says, ""I'm fucking hungry!"""