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Joke of the Day

"GREEK JOKE TRANSLATED -BRUSH & D- She confused the brush with a dick. Until this day, it makes me wonder, how can she brush her hair with a dick?"

"What does Paul Atreides do when he wants the last glass of water? He calls Muad'Dibs on it"

"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman."

"Me: You should cut your toenails. Wife: Huh? M: You're scratching my leg. W: I'm WAY on the other side of the bed! M: That's kinda my point."

"You enter. ""I've been expecting you,"" I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins."

"What is the perfect name for an Indian butler? Mahatma Coat"

"By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks."

"I had an arguement with a philosophy major I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!"

"There is no ""we"" in pizza"

"Yesterday, I beat a guy rather seriously. At the end, I even gave him stomach hits on his foot."