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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids"

"gonna give my zombie friend several different brains for his deathday. Took a while to get the shopping done. Finally got some presents of mind."

"Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony."

"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made it round and laughed and laughed and laughed"

"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."

"Her: I've had gray hairs since I was 16. Me: I got my grays after I got married. Hubs: I CAN HEAR YOU! Me: AND I LOVE MY GRAYS, HONEY!"

"I cheated on my girlfriend once We were playing monopoly and while she wasn't looking I took some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"3 Nuns Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man approaches them and exposes himself to them. Two of the nuns have a stroke but the third one couldn't reach."

"What's a rabbits' favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark."

"To me funny is beautiful."