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Joke of the Day

"My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat."

"In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious"

"FOX NEWS: ONE WINTER STORM DISPROVES GLOBAL WARMING BUT MORE THAN A BILLION PEACEFUL MUSLIMS ARE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it."

"Apparently half of men have a problem with premature ejaculation The rest of us just don't think its a problem."

"The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat."

"My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa"

"I asked my Indian father for a PS3 He said ""No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."""

"I like women how I like my eggs... Whites only"

"Credit card fraud is wrong. Unless you're poor & really horny & think a rich guy wont notice a $20/month fee for your amputee fetish."