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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a black person and a pizza. A pizza can feed a family of 4"

"I am starting a support group for guys dealing with Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Our motto is: ""Hang in there, we can beat it."""

"If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north in which direction is the smoke blowing? There is no smoke from an electric train!"

"I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team."

"The other day a man knocked on my door and asked me for a small donation towards the local swimming pool... I gave him a glass of water."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth ? A gummy bear"

"You remember, in 2008 and 2012, when the right rioted, burned police cars, trashed small businesses, and claimed that President Elect Obama was not their president? Huh, yeah me either."

"If lesbians aren't attracted to men, why are they attracted to women that look like men?"

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"What does Agatha Christie call a group of almost every type of bird? A Murder of Most Fowls!"