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Joke of the Day

"Ariel: ""But I love him, daddy!"" *sobs as King Tritan rips her iPhone away and unfollows PrinceEric69*"

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? Apparently, it's making headlines."

"If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am."

"What is the purpose of the bumps around a womens nipple? It's braille for blind babies... -=Women=- It spells out ....""Suck here"" -=Men=- "" I am the daddy """

"I was banging my neighbors wife, doggy style, when her husband came home... She said, ""OH MY GOD, use the BACKDOOR!!"" I should've left at that point, but you don't get an offer like that every day..."

"Some people say I'm condescending That means I talk down to people"

"I was casually swimming with a great white shark today. Until he bit my whole arm off."

"There are 11 types of people in this world.. a) those that understand Roman numerals. b) those that don't understand Roman numerals."

"What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...? I heard that he was fully re-covered."

"What country uses the most foul language? Turkey"