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Joke of the Day

"GF: I'm sick of communicating via walkie talkies. I think we should breakup ME: we should breakup what? OVER GF: its over ME: its what? OVER"

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"If Barry Allen had a restaurant what would it be called? Greased lightning?"
"I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer but no one will do it."
"I like my women how I like my coffee... Drunk."
"A natural log with her own show ln(DeGeneres)"
"What do a mystic and a hot dog vendor have in common? They'll both make you one with everything."
"You think the dozen roses on my toilet tank are there to mask odor? Read the card: ""Dear toilet. I'm so sorry for all the shit I've done..."""
"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Well we're having it tonight. It's [wats](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wat_%28food%29) for dinner!"
"If sex with two other people is a threesome... and sex with 3 others is a foursome, then I guess that makes me handsome."
"""So here are the plans for the Eiffel tower..."" ""Hmm. Yes, yes - this is Gustave!"""
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