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Joke of the Day

"Boys: I may not have the biggest boobs, but I sure do have the right number of 'em!"

"ISIS has a lot in common with Little Miss Muffet They've both got Kurds in their way"

"I went out with a girl the other night who turned out to be really weird I guess the fact that she said she was a communist should have been a big red flag"

"Police nearly apprehended a drug dealer selling cocaine in a tobacco store. They were close, but no cigar."

"Velcro... What a ripoff!"

"What type of computer sings well? Adell."

"Hello 911? ""What's your emergency?"" You work in a building? ""Yes"" Inside? ""Yes WHAT'S YOUR EM-"" So you're saying 911's an inside job?!"

"What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? ""Shomething'sh Amish..."""

"""yo Adam, Eve, don't eat from that tree ok?"" ""Why God?"" ""CUZ I INSTALLED THIS SWEET BURGER KING BRO"" ""AW HELL YEAH"" *God & Adam chest bump*"

"[math class] How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet? ""By crawling to the counter?"" GET OUT"