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Joke of the Day

"On a date, she said ""You smell nice. What have you got on?"" ""I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."""

"What's the opposite of pro? Con. So what's the opposite of progress?"

"I just dropped my BlackBerry! This must be similar to how mother's feel when they drop their infants."

"Why did the gay guy fail his test? He couldn't think straight."

"Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE? ... because it's too cold out-tide."

"Text abbreviations date back to the days of the telegraph with common shorthand like DFMWOL for ""Dying From Musket Wound Out Loud."""

"The child that I carried in my uterus for 9 months & suffered through 13 hrs of labor for just asked if he could have my pickle. Hell. No."

"The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby..."

"Two spices are talking One spice says ""man it stinks like b.o. in here!"" Other spice says ""come on man I'm only cumin"""

"Knock knock. Who's there? April Fool day :)"