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Joke of the Day
"I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend said that me being a mime was too much, and she was leaving But I couldn't bring myself to say anything"
"What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs on a pool table? Rick O'Shay"
"I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like ""thank God it Friday!"" or ""Im pregnant of baby"""
"I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side."
"LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy."
"The hardest thing about working in a restaurant is that your throat is always dry from spitting in everyone's food."
"A puzzling amount of nonsense... If you're sailing through the desert and your house gets a flat how many flapjack a would it take to put that motherfucker up on stilts?"
"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!!"
"Why did man invent curling? To convince women sweeping was a sport."