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Joke of the Day

"A Roman soldier meets another soldier on the road ""Excuse me"" the first soldier asks ""have you crossed Jesus anywhere, by any chance?"""

"TIL that 9/10 Doctors agree , drinking water is good for children The tenth doctor lives in Flint, Michigan. EDIT: calm down /u/Andimbacksucker"

"Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F."

"There are two major differences between beer and women. When you take the top off a beer, it can't change its' mind, and it can easily be bought and replaced."

"What on Earth did the NASA discover? Nothing, it was on Mars"

"Interview: ""What is your biggest weakness"" Guy: ""Honesty"" Interviewer: ""I don't believe honesty is a weakness"" Guy: ""I don't give a f*** about what you believe"""

"It's so insulting when people think they need to explain simple things to me. I mean like, don't consume I'm dumb n shit, you know?"

"99% of the world can't count. I'm just glad I'm part of the other 4%."

"Two messiahs walk into a bar and the bartender says ""There's no prophet in this!"""

"You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car."