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Joke of the Day

"Do you know who cries the most during the end of Titanic? Metal fans."

"I don't play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string."

"My girlfriend and I were having sex so loud we woke up the whole house. My wife was furious."

"Her: Wanna ""lex"" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles."

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them."

"Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down."

"My 7yo has a friend over and I'm pretty sure he learned how to whisper during a hurricane."

"Where does the vampire deposit his savings? In the blood bank. And why did he like to deposit his savings there? Because everyone there helped increase his savings."

"Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store? Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!"

"Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates."