168932

Joke of the Day

"the guy at Subway just put Cheetos on my sandwich. can't tell if he's stoned, or he knows that I am"

"My grandma's a thief You should see her snatch."

"Bad Mother Mick, do you think I'm a bad mother? My name is Paul."

"A kid came to my door last night for trick-or-treat dressed as a pirate... I asked him, ""where are your buckaneers?"" He replied, ""on the side of my buck'en head."""

"What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror."

"Police: Everything you say can and will be held against you Criminal: Boobs"

"""Hey kids, you like candy?"" I said to my own kids, luring them into my van so I could get them to school and be at work on time."

"What does Kim Jong-un have in common with gingers? No Seoul."

"Roses... Roses are red violets are blue - I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."

"What's the difference between Barack Obama and Cecil the lion? Ones an African lion, the other's a lyin' African."