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Joke of the Day

"My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a nobel prize? They said he was outstanding in his field"

"Dude... I was there, don't try to change the story."

"What do you call a bad cow joke? Udderly terrible!"

"Yo Mama so dumb she put lipstick on her fore-head to make up her mind."

"How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction."

"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house."

"She ate poison! We have to make her vomit! [everyone looks at me] [i roll my eyes and start getting naked]"

"I feel a spree coming on. It's either shopping or killing, I haven't decided yet."

"opinion - 3.14 = onion"