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Joke of the Day

"""I like my women like i like my eggs...."" Whites only. (or millions of other one-word punchlines, depending on how dark you want to go.) ""Fertilized"" ""Beat"" ""Rotten"" ""xtra-large"""

"My teacher told me that two words should never have the same sound. What a homophonic bigot!"

"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."

"SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die."

"""Sorry I put my nuts on your desk."""

"Moon rock versus Earth rock Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock? Because it's a little meteor."

"Q: What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above? A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things."

"What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? Ruff"

"I saw a zombie wearing Crocs on The Walking Dead and thought to myself ""she totally deserved to die""."

"A guy gets the words ""I love you"" tattooed to his dick. He goes home to his wife, and she says, ""Stop trying to put words in my mouth."""