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Joke of the Day

"What would /u/doubledickdude's band be called? The Tu-Wang Clan"

"What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!"

"You don't need to tell me that I'm not your cup of tea. I am well aware that I'm not a cup of tea, idiot."

"Every month I clean my shower with an ammonia based solution... ... Which is ironic because ammonia is what made it dirty in the first place."

"No, I'm not addicted to taking batteries out of clocks. I can stop at any time I want."

"Why did Hitler kill the Jews? Because they're greedy dirty Jews"

"How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read."

"Today I made an immigration officer laugh He was borderline hysterical."

"The faster I type in my password, the more secret agent-y I feel."

"What's the difference between the G-Spot and Jack Daniels? I'll actually look for the Jack Daniels."