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Joke of the Day

"December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it"

"What is cat's favourite tea? Kit-tea"

"Me: You bought 6 bottles of carpet cleaning solution? Wife: Yes. Me: We have hard wood floors. Wife: I had a coupon that was expiring today!"

"I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.... Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"My friend was quite a colorful character... His name was Hugh"

"I found a T.O.E. It's on the end of my F.O.O.T."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do."

"T-Rex probably died from the spread of disease since he couldn't use the soap dispensers without smashing his face into the mirror."

"Why don't orphans play professional Baseball? They don't know where home is."

"Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge... Whatever floats your goat."