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Joke of the Day

"December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it"

"Don't put a question mark where God put a period. "

"What does amnesia mean? Someone told me but I forgot."

"[mysterious British man rescues me] Me: How? Him: Bond [introducing himself as we leave prison], bail bond."

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south. Nothing, someone's losing the trailer."

"There are two kinds of people in this world, the kind that keep their inbox at zero... and the kind that want to run for president someday."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch? A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes."

"Check out this article: The"

"Marriage is an institution. So is the mental hospital."