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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotapus"

"Interviewer: Give me an example of something you took with you from your last job Me: Toilet paper"

"This one time, I shot a defenseless black guy and got arrested.. For impersonating an officer of the law."

"Donald Trump We all need a good laugh in this day and age. Here's to you!"

"JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*"

"Afghanistan is just a regular ghanistan that's ghanistan af."

"Instagram banned me for life cuz I kept commenting ""but are you happy?"" on everyone's pictures."

"I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat."

"Procrastination is similar to masturbation The longer you wait the larger the load"

"Today i thought i saw a new color... but it turned out to just be a pigment of my imagination"