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Joke of the Day

"I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat."

"Wait, I forget, what's the national pastime? Is it baseball or worrying about Jennifer Aniston's happiness?"

"What I Say To 7: ""This is just between us"" What 7 Hears: ""Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse"""

"When dared to pull someone's finger, make sure you're not in a restroom & that it's indeed a finger you've been asked to pull."

"Sea Shells Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because the D shells are to big."

"Why should aimless Christian musicians become sailors? Because if they've found Jesus, the only way they'll find resolution is at C."

"Get out of any speeding ticket by assuring the officer that you're already miserable and adequately beaten down by life."

"Whats the worst part about Crabgrass? It's Not Lobster."

"Girl, is your name Trouble? ...cause your dad tells me I'm in trouble."

"""Do you think the meme war will ever end?"" It may-may not."