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Joke of the Day

"I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat."

"1. Put on red T-shirt. 2. Remember that I need to go to Target today. 3. Take off red T-shirt."

"CD worms made tapeworms obsolete."

"What do call a white guy in a burning building? Fire cracker"

"Water is the most precious drink Because without it we can't make coffee"

"That's a nicece ham you have there. Would be a shame if someone put a ""s"" at the start and a ""e"" at the end."

"Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!"

"PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."

"Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures? Bad cam'ra"

"adam sandler's wife is madam sandler"