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Joke of the Day

"What do you call... What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroganoff"

"Why did the shell not go to the beach? Because he was self-CONCH-ious."

"Thor isn't able to stay in hiding long He's not a very loki guy (yeah, still a bit iffy on the wording)"

"Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them ""Get out. We don't serve your type here."""

"Thought i was out of toilet paper today Turns out i had a shitload"

"Japanese gardener gets tired of being bossed around by homeowner You think he say ""Leaf me alone"", but he say ""Fuck you, homeowner, fuck you..."""

"I'm single by choice. Just not my choice."

"Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy? 5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby? 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it."

"a Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean a mother"

"NSFW Men are like a deck of cards... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his fucking face in and a spade to bury the bastard!"