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Joke of the Day

"[Biden runs into the oval office] ""Barack, ISIS are on the phone. They want a shipment of updog. I asked what it is but they just laughed"""

"Every time someone clears their browser history there should be a little voice that says ""good move."""

"[gynecologist making small talk during an exam] DOCTOR: So you're in the military? HER: Yes DOCTOR: Well thank you for your cervix"

"I went to the zoo today. All they had was one dog. It was a shit zoo"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a *great* year."

"A Short Joke jk"

"Why did the police assault the crowd? Because a-peppering them would make them sneeze!"

"My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded."

"What's long and thick and turns conservative women on? The Bible"

"Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook."