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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and a bassist? Santa Claus has gifts"

"What was the other reindeer's name? Olive. EDIT: Please don't explain and let those suffer who don't understand"

"You all hate smokers until you need to light a birthday cake..."

"HR: Can you explain this?? Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes"

"They say penis size is related to shoe size As if being raped by a clown isn't bad enough."

"I joked about a robot uprising until I waved at an automatic paper towel dispenser and nothing happened. THEY'RE EVOLVING INTO PRETTY GIRLS!"

"There is a guy at my job who wears a turban... ...I wonder if he has ever called in Sikh to work?"

"Some people here are a mite sensitive. Fell asleep during a pleasant DM chat and now I'm blocked. Didn't know I snored that loudly."

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."

"My son wants a bb gun for Christmas I told him I'l give it my best shot"