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Joke of the Day
"Me: Sweetie, I think these wireless headphones you got me are defective. Wife: Those are earmuffs."
Next Joke
"Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino? Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL"
"The main reason I got divorced is because I got married."
"Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That's how this works."
"Invisible Russian army. -Do you see Bandera supporters in Crimea? - No. -Yet, they are there. - Do you see Russian army in Crimea? -Yes. -Yet, they are not there."
"Civil war jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny."
"""Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup."" -Maybelline"
"Teacher : Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first ? Pupil: I want to know how it ends !"
"What's the best part about dating a Patriots fan? They don't care if you cheat."
"Masturbating is wrong in some people's eyes... Also, it burns."