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Joke of the Day
"Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino? Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL"
Next Joke
"What's red and fucks old ladies? Me, in my lucky red jacket."
"[Walks in on girlfriend on death bed] ME: [Crying] this can't be happening GRIM REAPER: Dude, I can explain. She totally came on to me"
"*Gets down on one knee* ""Can you drive us to dinner I have three DUI's"""
"My grandad let me in on the secret to picking up hot Jewish girls during WWII.. with a brush and shovel.."
"My wife doesn't appreciate that I love her mother in law more than I love mine."
"Boss, I can't come in today. Got a bad case of- *puts hand over phone* -what was it again? Daughter: Boogeritis. *to phone* It's Boogeritis."
"What happened to the trapeze artist that did drugs on the job? He got suspended."
"This restaurant should really be giving me a discount for ordering carryout and not bringing my kids inside."
"Possum 911: What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing? Possum: Oh yeah"