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Joke of the Day

"My coworker told me he didn't want to buy girl scout cookies because he didn't want to get diabetes. I told him not to worry. Diabetes isn't a sexually transmitted disease."

"wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!"

"You've heard about the moron pilot who once made a tricky landing, haven't you?It was the shortest runway he'd ever seen. And the widest, too."

"Michael J. Fox is extremely formal... ...he even shakes hands with his wife."

"Do you know why Bill Clinton played the saxophone? Because he lost his whoremonica"

"My resolution for the new year is... 1080p"

"Dang girl, are you a zombie? Cuz I'm bringing you back from the dead!"

"Want his attention? Send nudes Want to piss him off? When he responds, reply ""Oops, wrong person"""

"Why can't you believe what an atom tells you? Because they make up everything!"

"Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To avoid debating."