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Joke of the Day

"Why are Jews so bad at baseball? They always get out on the third reich"

"I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but... she needs a new Walker more than the Fast and Furious franchise."

"Listen Target, I always try products before I buy them and if that means dry humping the shit out of your body pillows in aisle 9, so be it."

"Why does my computer always ask me if I'm ""sure"" about stuff? Yes, I want to delete my hard drive."

"Do arcades ever clean the joysticks? 'Cause I've sucked on a few and they tasted awful."

"My cellphone is incredibly acidic... It's a pH one"

"A ""gag gift"" means something completely different to people into BDSM."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!"

"McCain Will Buy Houses From Needy Owners Of Beachfront Mansions- ""If The Price Is Right"""

"What does Melania say to the Donald after sex? Next time *I* suck Bill's dick while YOU watch."