168162

Joke of the Day

"For every dollar a man makes.... For every dollar a man makes, a women makes 70 cents. Thats not right Thats not fair The mans only left with 30! -Bo Burnham"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Well I can't jelly my dick up your ass"

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he will eat for a week."

"Still mourning the horrible death on 12/5/2013 Yesterday, a great man died. His name was Todd Mills, the inventer of the Doritos Locos Taco."

"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"What idiot called it a rhyme book & not rapping paper"

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"Now the UK is out of the EU we can ban pre-shredded cheese. Make Britain grate again."

"All I want for my children is to be happy when .. .. they grow up, so I'll definitely advise them not to have any children."

"As I drop my child off to her first day of school it reminds me of how my mom dropped me off as well...except mom was ticketed for littering"