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Joke of the Day

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"Probably once a year some dumb Whale excitedly swims up to the coast of Wales humming, ""Mama, I'm coming home."""

"Why are fleas never happy? They're in-fur-iated."

"Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way."

"A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre... so he gave it to her."

"Thinking of starting a website that auto-tweets when you j/o. ""I'm the mayor of MY GARAGE on JERKSQUARE."""

"Did you know sugar is the only word that begins with an 's' that makes a 'sh' sound? I'm sure of it."

"What do astronauts wear to bed? Space Jammies!"

"""If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?"" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now."

"Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating? 1.1 million stars"