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Joke of the Day

"Even maintaining a Sims character is too much pressure for me."

"Why did the black kid wish for a white Christmas? Because all his white friends got better gifts than him."

"I bought some drugs from a shoe dealer They were unlaced, and I still got high as heel..."

"People always say, ""Its the little things in life you treasure""... But whenever I'm naked, girls always laugh."

"Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her..."

"Remember when you were young and everything was new and you were filled with optimism and hope? Anyway here's a new thing to buy from Apple."

"student: may i use the bathroom? Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet. Student: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: wheres the p? Student: running down my leg."

"I started working on my 2nd million this year... Gave up on the first..."

"Why fart and waste it? When you can burp and taste it."

"What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!"