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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a Jewish prostitute high? You stone 'er."

"What's the longest sentence in the English language? I do."

"I just tried an inverted yoga pose that my friend told me about... it was highly rectum-ended"

"Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children."

"CRUEL JOKE What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."

"I'm a huge fan of politically incorrect jokes. Listen to this absolute classic: ""Abraham Lincoln was never president""!"

"What does Ron Howard ask before watersports? You down with Opie pee?"

"Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water?... You're gonna have to give me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded."