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Joke of the Day

"Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children."

"Why do riot police like to get to work early? To beat the crowd."

"I'm all about fitness fit'ness whole burger into my mouth"

"The Patriots were impressive last night You don't win a game like that with Luck alone"

"Did you hear about the castrated hipster? He had a very eunuch style."

"when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit"

"Some days I think my mental health is coming along nicely, other days I'm vaguely jealous of turtles."

"American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! April ! April who ? April might make you feel better !"

"[Calls number written on my windshield with lipstick] Hi, you left your number on my car. Who's going to clean this?"